At the 2-week mark prior to your triathlon, spend a day thusly:
Wake up early, one or two hours short of a good night's rest. Don't eat breakfast but do drink lots of coffee. Then spend the entire day outside, in 30 degree heat, without your waterbottle, wading up and down streams that are apparently void of any living trout, save two. Stop at a country-side corner gas bar and load up on chips, coke and shitty chip dip. Forget to tape your knee, douse your skin with toxic pesticide, drink a bunch of GF beer and other libations as you see fit, and stay up late slouching over an outdoor fire.
Repeat on day two.
On day three, after you've returned from your odyssey, go for a 30 minute swim. Your body will remember its rhythm -- the whole muscle-memory business. However, the fear of god will flood your 43 year old mind and you will find yourself muttering "what the hell" over and over again. It's really quite a rush.
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